i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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