I wanna bring you to show and tell
Will you blow on my dice?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
