So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
