this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
