tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
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