Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
