turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
