life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Randomize