You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
