Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
