no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
