I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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