So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
