sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
