his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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