If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize