so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
