She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize