I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
