I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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