First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
