he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We don't watch enough power rangers
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
