they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
