i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
