Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
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So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
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Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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