you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
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He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
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I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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