onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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