dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize