stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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