so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
