I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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