Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
