I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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