OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
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you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
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she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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