My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
