why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
