No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
