Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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