It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
ugly people sure do ruin things
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize