i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
