Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
