the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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