We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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