shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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