am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
