We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize