I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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