he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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