dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
