am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
