Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
