So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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