I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
