I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize