so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
