i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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