I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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