He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
