:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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