Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
