38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
