So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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