when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
