Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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