Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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