i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
