She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
